: : miss m : : (memoryanddream) wrote,
: : miss m : :

(copy from journal - weekend update: Disney, A Pearl, LoveGets Sickl, The Job, etc.)

Weekend Recap
In which our Heroine goes to Disney and finds a pearl (while her Hero gets ill); yet again fails to get any meaningful sleep and thus misses another day of work; talks to her boss about the future of said job - and other harrowing adventures!

Saturday April 10th Love's brother, Love and I were supposed to go to WDW. It was the first weekend after of our Spring Break blackout period and with life being as it's been, we all needed a day away. Sadly, Love's brother wound up having to work, so it was just the two of us. We got off to a late start as both of us were tired and having some grumbly tummies, but we got on the road around 11am.

Love drove the first 40 minutes or so but was really tired and felt like he was nodding off. So we found an exit with food and pulled off. Love got an Arby's sandwich and I took over driving the rest of the way. This was perhaps not the best idea as we'll see later.

So we finally arrive at Epcot first around 12:30pm. We wander around the countries a bit, I have a pastry in France and we make our way to Japan. They have this thing called, "Pick a Pearl" where you get to pick the oyster and they open it with a whole ceremony and everything. Love always says I should do it but I say, "no" or "next time" because while it looks fun, I never want to spend the money. Well, this time, he made me do it to cheer me up.

I guess these are called "Akoya" pearls and are regarded as the finest cultured pearls in the world. The average is 6.5mm. Mine? A giant 8mm! They were very excited and all said mine was the largest find of the day. It's very lovely. We picked out a sterling silver cherry blossom setting and they set it for me right there in about 20 minutes. It's only $17 (tax included) for the Pick A Pearl in Japan and the settings range from about $20 on up. So it was a small splurge but it was so much fun and I am so in love with my beautiful pearl - and proud of having the largest of the day! - that Love was right; it was worth it.

Now of course, I want to do it again but if I got a little dinky pearl, it'd be a disappointment after getting such an awesome one my first time out!

After that fun, I took some pics of the butterfly garden. Always a favorite of mine during the Flower and Garden Festival.

Lots of monarchs this time, but man it makes me long for a camera with a much longer zoom lens! 3x zoom makes it hard to get in close enough to the butterflies without them flittering away.

After that, we went over to Magic Kingdom. By this time, however, Love wasn't feeling so well. In fact, he lost the probably poor-choice Arby's sandwich while I was taking butterfly photos. We got to MK and I was hungry so I got us late lunch/early dinner (it was about 4:30pm) and then Love had to call it a day. He got sick once more before the drive home. Boo. So the day started off fun but sadly, didn't end quite as well.

Sunday, April 11th - Love was still ill from the day before so we just ran a few errands and called it a day. He didn't even go down to his parents for the weekly Sunday morning breakfast.

Monday, April 12th - I didn't sleep worth a damn and by the time Love was leaving for work (around 6:30am), I knew it was going to be another one of the "unable to face the day" days. Ever since this crazy anxiety/panic attacks thing started, some days I just literally can't function. I feel like I'm drowning and there's nothing I can do about it. We're trying to find someone who I can talk to that will work on a sliding scale or something but so far, no luck. And I certainly don't have $150/hr. So I had to call into work again and pretty much spent the day sleeping.

Tuesday, April 13th - First off, today is 1 month since Rand passed. Which made it even more fun then normal. I laid there this morning, looking at the clock around 7:30am, thinking about a month ago we were getting the call at that exact same time. It's weird because in some ways, it feels like so long ago, and in others, it feels like it just happened.

So anyway, got up and went into work today as best I could. And I'm about an hour and a half into my day (so it's around 10:30am) when my boss Erik comes over and asks me to come talk with him. Of course, I'm positive this is it; I'm getting canned. I've missed a lot of days the past month because of not sleeping, migraines, panic attacks, etc. and I know it's just really bad.

Turns out, he was just worried about me. I broke down crying - because I'm stupid like that and I can't help but cry when I talk about these things - and told him about the anxiety/panic attacks, the lack of sleeping, etc. Instead of being angry, he was really understanding. He told me I can take as much time as I needed and if I ever needed to go home early, that was fine too. He really hopes I can get to talk to someone and was really nice about it all. Said these things take a long time to get over and I'm doing a great job and don't worry because I'm not going to lose my job. (I confessed, as a blubbering idiot I was so worried about losing my job because I was being such a flake but I'm not normally like this and I'm so sorry about being such a flake and I've never dealt with panic and anxiety before and it's making me a mess and did I mention I was sorry...?)

So that's one huge relief.

My co-worker and trainer, Janet talked to me after my talk with Erik and she reassured me too that I was awesome, my emotions being all over the place are totally normal, that I wasn't going anywhere and they are still all glad to have me.


I've really been stressing that on top of everything else since I really didn't want to lose the job but being so stressed out and panicking and not sleeping and such means some days I just literally can't function like a normal human being. At least I know I can take a day (or more, Erik even said I can take as much time as I need and to focus on myself and getting better first and foremost) when I need it.

So...yeah. That's the last few days. Oh, for those keeping track I still do NOT have my new glasses yet. Yes, I ordered them February 19th and have received four incorrect/flawed/unwearable pairs thus far, made six trips over there and my next replacement pair "is on rush order" since March 15th. Yeah, color me pissed. Did I mention the crack in my right lens is now about an inch long? I am SO going to be asking for my money back on the pair when they finally get around to making them correct. This is beyond absurd.

Alright, time to make dinner. Started this like an hour and a half ago so probably should do something else productive now. Just haven't really had time to write up entries and this probably should have been divided up into a few, but...there you have it.

Tomorrow I'm off so that's good and we'll see how the rest of the week plays out.

Ta for now.
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